We Remember Them
We Remember Them
We have had an unusual number of memorial services over the summer. We started with a service for John Cummings III, then one for Gael Harris, Doreen Shafizadeh, and Dick Mallick. Michael Brown and Billie Gray also died. Friends of our congregation, Vicki Fleischer (long time supporter of the Holiday Market) and Mike Milch (Ann Blair’s husband), also passed away. So much death in one season is heavy on the heart.
Here are a few things to keep in mind when you’re grieving:
Recognize that we don’t “get over” people after they die. We carry them with us–thank goodness. Our job is to hold them in our heart as we continue to move forward in our lives. It’s important to recognize that they are a part of who we are, and they always will be.
Sad days certainly happen. It is important to allow ourselves time and space to grieve. Sometimes these days surprise us, seeming to come out of nowhere. Give yourself permission to take things slower and quieter. Everything, even small things, can be harder when you’re grieving.
Grief comes out in a variety of ways. An intuitive griever may shed a lot of tears and process his loss verbally. An instrumental griever may find solace in building or creating something, even doing intense physical exercise, or starting a group.
Know that sometimes you’ll be distracted by other details of life, and that’s a good thing. Too many sad days in a row can be debilitating. It’s important to allow ourselves movement in and out of grief. Some days might be focused on the tasks of living: getting groceries, paying bills, even having fun. Other days are for pulling in, allowing the more intense grief emotions to have their space.
Play! Play as often as you can. There will be plenty of sorrow, so when an opportunity to play comes along–take it. Kids are expert at this. Seek opportunities to be with young people. Or perhaps, try something new that you’ve never tried before.
Strive to live fully (at least on the days the energy presents itself). Remember you are now living on behalf of those who no longer are able to walk this earth.
Reach out for support. Support is always important and allowing others into the inner circle of your world is a gift for them!
Rev. Gretchen