Seeking Connection - Trying Out Church in Today's Lonely World
These days, people are talking about loneliness as a growing factor in American life. And it turns out it isn’t particularly good for you.
Loneliness “can do everything from increase rates of high blood pressure, heart disease, increased rates of dementia, and actually decrease how long we live," Dr. Kelli Harding, an assistant professor of psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center, told "Nightline” last fall. "It's as risky for health as, you know, smoking 15 cigarettes a day.”
According to a 2024 public opinion poll by the American Psychiatric Association, one in three U.S. adults experiences loneliness at least once per week. About 10 percent of us feel lonely every day.
We all can point to a host of reasons – too many screens, packed schedules, working at home, new habits leftover from the pandemic, living far from family and more. Today there are stacks of studies on loneliness and its antidote: In the UK there is even a Minister of Loneliness.
But, interestingly, some of the prescriptions for easing loneliness and building in-person social connection are as simple and time-tested as joining a club, finding a hobby group, or going to church.
If you’ve decided that pickleball is your way to connect with others, good for you. If it’s a hiking group or a scrapbooking club or the Kiwanis, great choice. If it’s trying out a church, here are some things to keep in mind because going to church is different from a yoga class or grabbing a coffee with friends.
- It’s not transactional. As you come through the doors, you come without a ticket, reservation or the price of a cup of coffee. You come as you are.
- Welcome should be the first thing you experience. Look for a congregation where people reach out to say hello while also extending you the space you need to observe or quietly participate, as you wish.
- Take your time and take it in. Churches are sensory experiences – old wood and stained windows or gleaming modernism; choral harmonies, praise band or even silence. Consider what you need and allow time and space for resonance.
- Recognize that church not only offers connection with others, but it also sets us up to experience connection with a divine reality that is larger than ourselves.
- Most of all, know that within church denominations, it’s certainly not “one size fits all.” Visit more than one to find the fit that’s best for you.
Ultimately, church is community. That’s the appeal – people who come together in community to serve God and each other while building bonds of friendship and care. And that’s one good reason it could be worthy of a place in your life.